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I Was Abused and He’s Out There... Hurting Others.

Nearly 20 years ago – when I was still a teen - I was told not to share my story in order to “protect” others in the family that might not be able to handle the truth. Many friends have known my story, but for me, feeling obligated to stay silent for others’ benefit was always a heavy burden. BUT…It’s my story. I get to decide. And now I speak out completely publicly for the first time. I was sexually, physically and psychologically abused as a young child and he’s out there- still hurting others. I asked for help and they thought I was "making it up" (read: lying) ...or “exaggerating.” So, I stopped asking for help and continued living with torment and abuse for years. I tried killing myself multiple times - a dangerous behavior that began for me in 5th grade. As a college freshman, after years of deep repression, memories of the worst abuse came rushing back one night . For the next 6 years, I cut my wrists and intentionally overdosed on pills numerous times. One such suicide attempt got me admitted to a psychiatric hospital. That’s hard to share publicly, but it's true. I am fortunate to have even graduated from college. It’s the darkest period of my life and a true miracle I survived. To this day, my criminal denies everything and claims I’m lying. Why share this now? Because he’s still hurting people. Children and adults. Illinois DCFS was recently called on him and an investigation was opened. They decided nothing was amiss and closed the investigation without action, despite a young girl saying she is afraid of him…her father. My message has three points: 1) If you have been abused — If you have been assaulted: physically, sexually, psychologically… TELL SOMEONE. If they don’t believe you, tell someone else and someone else and someone else. Keep talking and asking for help until you get help. Never stop. Never feel ashamed. Never feel hopeless. You’re not as alone as they want you to think you are. 2) If someone confides in you, tells you they have been abused in any way- BELIEVE THEM. But don’t stop there- DO SOMETHING, get them help and stay by their side, advocate for them and with them until they have a community of supporters helping them and then still stay by their side. No victim should have to be their own, lone advocate. 3) (and this one is a bit more specific) Illinois DCFS needs to be pressured into re-opening the investigation. The person in question is known to be controlling, violent and abusive. He has physically harmed and deeply psychologically abused numerous others - adults and children - his entire life and intimidates his victims into silence. He is doing it still to this day. It is appalling that IL DCFS has closed the case with no action after “interviewing everyone.” Who did they interview? They didn’t interview me, I know that. They said that both parents will lie but even so, what the parents say matters more in the investigation than what the kids say. This is FUCKING WRONG.

Please, PLEASE join me in bringing this case back to their attention by calling and emailing Illinois DCFS- private message me and I will give you the information you need to share.


(Telling my story).

He reminds me so much of the Florida shooter. People are scared of him. His family and peers describe him (at best) as a bully. Sadly, few would be surprised if he unleashed on his children, his coworkers, his girlfriend, his pets. If I got a call that he killed someone in a rage... I would probably say “I fucking told you so.” How many victims are too many before he is stopped? Do more helpless people need to be harmed? Why does Illinois DCFS decide it's ok to send kids home to a father they are scared of? Two children were just told there is nowhere safe for them. That there is no help for them. And these two children represent millions of others who have been left to fend for themselves. WE need your help. SHARE THIS. Ask others to share this. Share this so others know they aren’t alone. Share this and know that someone needs you to believe them. Share this to any group, any organization, any media connection, any contact you have.

I’m furious. I’m heartbroken. I need help. These kids need help. So many others need help. And hope. My public silence is over. This is the sword I will die on. I accept the fall out that this may cause. I will not live another second knowing that my abuser is getting away with what he did to me and doing it to others, when I have a voice.


©2020 by Kristin Benton.

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